Being hyposensitive to your interoception is pretty damn awful. Or at least for me. I don’t know how anyone else feels about it – for me it’s pretty damn awful.
It’s not a very well known sense, although now we know a bit more and vestibular and proprioception, interoception is getting a bit more attention. Basically interoception is “any sense stimulated from within the body”. Now there’s a bit of undecidedness about whether things like pain or heat response should be covered under this, but since they’re stimulated by something external I tend to use their specific terms, nociception and thermoception respectively.
Like most of the senses, people with sensory processing difficulties can be hyper- or hypo- sensitive to one or more areas of interoception. I’m on the more hyposensitive side of things. This means I don’t pick up on the sensory signals that indicate things like the early or mid stages of feeling tired, thirsty, hungry, or needing to use the bathroom. From what people without hypo-interoception inform me – these are gradual processes and they are often aware of even the early indicators. I tend to pick up the senses once they’re in the late stages. So when I haven’t drank for hours and hours, when I haven’t eaten for days, when I really need to go to the bathroom in the next few minutes, and when my head is about to drop and I’m going to fall asleep on my keyboard. It’s not a lot of fun.
This post was prompted because I was sat reading when I suddenly became aware that my lips were very dry. With that realisation I slowly noticed that the words I was reading were also swaying on the page, and that I was a bit shaky. It didn’t feel like illness, and after a short while thinking it occured to me that I had not drank any fluids for over twelve hours. I need a lot of water to feel well – when I’m working or out and about I usually drink between 4 and 6L of water a day. I carry around a 2L bottle of water so I am continually reminded to drink.
So how did I manage to forget?
Because I’m between jobs. Like many autistic people I cope much better when I have a routine, and for me employment is an important part of that routine. Without a job and the structure that comes with that, I lose a lot of that routine which leads to issues with all my other routines that I so carefully set up. Thankfully I’m due to start my new job in the next week or two depending on the paperwork processing speed – so until then I’ll just have to make due with a post-it note or alarm on my phone to remind me to keep drinking.